finally manage to find some time out to update my blog. hehs. well. prolly just start with where i left off.

jer and i kinda had some conflicts due to my stupid reasons lah. i didnt like the idea of having my bf to be a model. see, fleshImp approached him do do this fashion show at MOS. i didnt deny him the chance initially, but left him to make a WISE decision by himself. well, i thought the org prolly gonna pay him good, but to my disappointment. anyhow, he knew, i guessed, i didnt like it. but guys being guys, they tend to be insensitive at times. next day, he told me he took up the offer. i was fuming mad. yet at the same time i'm not one who'd control other ppl's interest or time. being in that spot, i made a decision i asked him to go ahead and do whatever he likes, and well, guess still support him. but i wouldnt carry on a relationship with a guy who's a model. blame it on my insecurities. but yea. thats me. and so we spent one night (Sunday) not talking.

went for MR class the next day. revision lecture. hehs. good thing Farhana was there. i was late again. hehs. Farhana claimed that i look like her cousin staying in london. haha. i always get that. ppl saying i look like this person that person. . .bla bla bla. common face i guess.

hehs. anyhow, she's one hellava bubbly gal. someone you'd wanna talk to 24/7. then came the heart-wrenching part, farhana asked me bout my bf. i hesitated abit. she wanted to see jer's pic, so i showed her a whole folder of our photos in my phone. hehs. i was tearing inside. what foolish thoughts i had the night before to end things cos of stupid reasons. hehs. i missed him. went off after class. forgot i left my cards with jer cos we went clubbing few nights ago and i left it in his wallet. things were so complicated. anyhow, thankfully, my petrol saved me. mypetrol was running low, and my credit cards/license card and ATM card was with him. so we kinda met for a while outside his camp to get my cards back so that i can go refill my petrol. hehs. we talked for a while. and he told me HE GAVE UP THE SHOW already. i felt so bad i didnt know how to react. i was too ashame of my selfishness. and just before he left the car he said something that really touched me. heh.


i drove off and that was the last time i heard from him that day. my heart felt all so uneasy and my mood was so damn low. i felt so bad really. i should have more trust in him. thanks to the previous rship that i'm mould into what i am today. my perception of guys, trust in them changed. but jer's putting 101% effort in changing my thoughts, not by words but through lil actions. i feel like a total princess being with him. hehs. well. evening wasnt too bad. had dinner with reagan and karin at home. thoughts of jer and i flooding my mind. hehs. i decided to msg him. but no reply. so i called on to check if he was ok. he didnt ans. and i decided to give up, again. thankfully by bestie was there for me. she herself was in the midst of a on-and-off rship. she never fail to cheer me up by telling me her silly happenings. be it true or just trying to make it up. i really appreciate the effort she put in to be the bestest friend. haha. (((she called me one morning whining to me how her leg was hurting while walking to the MRT. and her reason = she didnt mind the pain cos she just wanted to look professional on a mon. how silly. i guess she knew i wasnt feeling good, that she just wanted me to picture her whiny face, reminisce and smile. so sweet.)))

then came a call. it was jer!!! he told me he left his phone at HTA and had gone Old Police Academy for some events. sighs of relief, really. haha. and things got back on track once again. hehs. this is by far the longest time being apart.

well, the rest of the week werent too bad. Met Serene and John in town on Fri evening. and we went bishan stadium meet Jer. Dinner at Casuarina Curry together. at thomson vicinity. hehs. our all time favaourite indian cuisine makan place. =) jer and i went there the night before to eat my fav cheese-egg prata, so we ordered noodles goreng instead. went my cousin's place to visit my aunt from M'sia. and the two lil naughty girls - Alethea and Alyssa. Jer's aunt stays just a few houses away!! went to Aunt's Mag house. haha. call me childish - Adrienna has a whole collection of polly-pocket barbie dolls. i loooove barbie dolls. believe it or not. i spent the evening there playing with her. heh. i guess i enjoyed the fun time more than she did. haha. but Adrienna's one really intelligent girl,merely 5years old, but she prolly can read the map better than most teenagers these days. she speaks in full sentences. no baby talks to her pls. hehs. how i wish i could have a princessy nicely lit room like hers. =)

Met serene the next day (Saturday) again. at Bishan Stadium. dear dear had a prime-league game. we went there to study. hehs. =) reminiscing poly days. John joined us after his class. Apparently, John's an ex-footballer too. so jer and john kinda had quite alot to talk about. met maybeline and Eugene after the match. had dinner at Marina South, Zhen Fa Huo Hai Sian. hehs. went to my cousins place afterwhich. stayed there till bout 12midnight. and went back my place again.

i love you baby.